Talofa Lava Willietony,
I really like your bridge illustration, especially the waterfall and the Harbour Bridge. One thing I would suggest, is in the last verse when you wrote “Oh please oh please can I be free” then you wrote “What would happen if I was set free?”. You used the word ‘free’ two times in a row, so I would suggest finding another word for ‘free.’ Like ‘loose’ or ‘released’. Other than that, keep up the GREAT work!
Jamie
Talofa Lava Willietony,
I really like your bridge illustration, especially the waterfall and the Harbour Bridge. One thing I would suggest, is in the last verse when you wrote “Oh please oh please can I be free” then you wrote “What would happen if I was set free?”. You used the word ‘free’ two times in a row, so I would suggest finding another word for ‘free.’ Like ‘loose’ or ‘released’. Other than that, keep up the GREAT work!
Jamie